Are Painkillers the Cure to Depression? Read My Story, Please Help!?

Question by Josh: Are painkillers the cure to Depression? Read my story, please help!?
Have you watched the movie “Limitless”? That is me, but with Hydrocodone (or Percocet) pills. Here is my story:

My family blood line is filled with depression. I’m 32 now and have had depression since about 12 – 14. It’s never been really serious, I just feel like I’m stuck in a shell. I don’t open up socially. I get really bad anxiety over things. And have had minor bouts of feeling down about myself. I was diagnosed with minor depression by several doctors. From ages 15 to 24, I was prescribed many different anti depressants, which all never worked for me. The doctors would routinely have me come in to see how things were, and I never felt better. Some times, some doctors would increase my dosage, other times they would get me on different medications (Wellbutrin and Prozac are the only ones coming to mind right now, I think there was one other I was on). At about age 24 I gave up and stopped taking anti depressants. Looking back over the 10 years, I don’t think they did me one bit of good.

Well, 2 years ago I had knee surgery. The doctor gave me an over abundance of hydrocodone which to this day I still have a stash left (pills are now 2 years old). These pills are seriously my cure to depression when I’m on them. I take just a 5mg pill and I feel like a super human for most the day! No joke! I’m getting more stuff done in a day, my brain feels clear, and my relationships with everyone around me seem to improve as I can think better and am overall more genuine and empathetic towards people. I don’t feel I abuse these pills as I only take a 5mg pill every 3 days or so, and it’s only on occasions where I have a major body part in pain (which happens a lot as I’ve had many skiing accidents over the years).

Finally my question… Is it bad to have this feeling towards these drugs? Where do I go from here? I have a cousin and a sister who have been addicted heavily to painkillers to the point where rehab was needed. So I fully understand the dangers of painkillers. Which is why I try not to take more than 15mg’s a week (my sister was taking like 8-10 oxycodone 30mg’s a day). Because I take such a low amount, that is why 2 years after surgery I still have the original pills the doc prescribed. I have steadily taken the same amount over 2 years, without any tolerance built for them. Sometimes if I have no pain, I’ll go 6 weeks without a pill. Can I take more than I’m taking and be safe, maybe one a day? Or should I altogether go back to the drawing board of the neverending search of an anti depressant that is able to give me what Hyrdrocodone gives me?

P.S. I watch every episode of Dr. Phil, I’ve seen all the interventions. I am very well educated on drug abuse from people I’ve seen in my own life. It’s just crazy how this pill makes me feel as though I can accomplish anything. (P.S. I’m already a very successful person in life, these just seem to give me a ridiculous edge to getting more done, and being the best “me” I can be). I really am open to thoughts and advice to healthier alternatives. Sorry so long, but thanks in advance for any guidance or suggestions.
I appreciate the responses, and truly commend you for the time taken and the help offered. Honestly though, I probably should have taken a different angle with my question/thoughts. I have major issues with my joints. I’ve had knee surgery twice, shoulder surgery once, an achy back and neck that the chiropractor over 13 years just can’t fix, and I’m in constant pain. Yet having said all this, I refuse to take drugs whenever I hurt. As mentioned its 2 to 3 times a week I’ll take one. And sometimes if pain doesn’t hit sharply for awhile, I go months without. The 2 year old pills I have (about 80 left) will lose their potency before I use them all. Anyone who knows the strength of these drugs, knows the level I’m taking is extremely low. In fact, my brothers wife is a Pharmacist and says the amount I’m taking is completely fine, and says even 1 a day won’t be enough for me to be addicted (with my past 2 year track record with these).

Still thoug

Best answer:

Answer by jason e
here is an article on Yahoo! that might help. Best of luck

http://voices.yahoo.com/depression-experience-unspoken-truth-11350144.html

Answer by Johnny
I’m going to level with you. You already sound addicted. Addiction isn’t the end of the world, but it is something you can control. Sure, you feel invincible when you’re on the prescription drug because you have essentially trained your brain to become addicted. Please allow me to elaborate…

When you take synthetic drugs (man-made) drugs, the chemicals in your brain become altered. Now each drug does it differently but for the sake of time, please let me speak generally. What happens is that your prescription drug is imitates important chemicals and neuron transmitters in the brain. By doing so, the brain thinks it’s receiving a rush of chemicals when really it is not. In response to this, your brain shuts down some of the connections from the original connections to compensate for the influx of chemicals it’s feeling.

What happens is that your brain now becomes dependent on that drug to function normally. This is the conception of addiction. You are no longer taking drugs to feel “invincible” as in your case, but to feel normal. Problem is you don’t even realize this until you are without the drug. Try for 2 weeks to stop hydrocodone and see how you feel. I bet you go through withdrawal and will crave more than 5mg.

My advice (and I don’t know you from Adam) is for you to embrace who you are. Not everyone has to be a social butterfly, full of life and able to achieve super human feats every single day. Sure, we’d all like to work toward that, but make sure you’re doing it for yourself man. The pills are are covering a wound with a band-aid. You still have depression symptoms you just have trained your brain to believe the pills remove them. They don’t. They just make you a slave and create a false sense of reality.

It’s true we all need a coping mechanism but submitting to more natural alternatives would be your best bet. The first question you should ask yourself:

Why is it that I accomplished a lot of what I wanted and yet I still feel empty inside?

Usually it’s because the dreams we strive for already have preconceived outcomes attached them. In other words, before we achieve our wildest dreams, we already created an idea of what it would be like to accomplish our goals. You’ll never be happy this way. Cause things never go as planned.

Don’t do things to fill voids, strive to come alive. Never lose your edge and always break stagnation. It’s not about achieving a grand goal. It’s about realizing the little successes and people you have touched along the way. Scrutinize your intentions and somewhere within that you’ll find your heart and purpose.

Sorry for the rambling, I just felt since you took some time to write everything out, I would reciprocate by taking my own time to try and help. Maybe you think it’s all hog wash and if you do, maybe you should get a free assessment by calling a professional

http://www.drugrehabtreatmentlocator.com/do-i-need-help-drug-and-alcohol-assessments.php

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